Heaven
by foppery
Summary: Mikami Teru had not truly seen God until he met a fellow disciple. Mikami's view of "Mu". Mikami/Misa and a little Raito thrown in Violence, sex, sacriligious themes...
1. The Lights

**Title: Heaven**

**Anime: Death Note**

**Pairing: Mikami/Misa**

**Rating: MATURE**

**Warning(s): Sacriligious themes, detailed murder, sex... etc.**

Dark. Empty. Nothingness.

So this was _Mu_, was it? The former disciple of Kira let a sigh slip from between his lips. How long had he been there? How long had he been forced to "live" in this limbo? It had been so many years, Mikami Teru had lost count.

Though... it was not Hell. And he was never in any real "pain". Sure, at first, it had been bad. Trapped alone, with the freshness of his own death and his last images of "God" replaying again and again in his mind. He had nearly gone insane from the weight of it all. But, now.. he had gotten used to it.

_Mu_ was not simply a black abyss, like many souls imagine it. Actually, it was a city. A city in ruins. Barren streets enclosed by grey, decrepit buildings made up the place. Streetlights that never seemed to work lined the roads. His feet had led him through the ruins more times than he could even imagine. Every time, he'd tried to open the doors to the various buildings. Each time, he'd failed. He supposed that was just another one of the "quirks" of this place.

Teru's eyes stared into the darkness, not really seeing. He was perched on the stoop of a crumbling apartment complex, leaning gently against the brick of the wall.

His mind began to wander dangerously, as it often did in these times of twisted serenity. Reels of his life began to run in his mind. The way he would fold his clothes in a precise, orderly manner. The way his muscles stopped being sore after he'd been to the gym. The fresh, clean smell of his pillow case when he first woke up in the morning.

He remembered how much he'd loved his job. He was finally able to put criminals-

(In Hell)

-in jail. Where they belonged.

That was, until-

_(Kami!)_

Until-

_(Kami! KAMI, WHY?!)_

Teru took in a ragged breath and placed his palms on either side of his forehead. Not again, _PLEASE_ not again. He tried to block the flashbacks from his mind, tried to rid himself of the filth that he was and the vulgarity he had blindly served back then.

Slowly, slowly, the images faded, leaving only a dim light and a dull headache. He reveled in the neutrality of his surroundings. For once, the darkness was calming, pleasant even.

And, naturally, it would be at that point in time when a light would appear. At first, he didn't notice the growing color cast onto the ground. A gasp escaped him as his eyes found the source of the miracle he hadn't seen since he'd died... a streetlamp. The one closest to him, right there on the corner. In disbelief, he staggered towards it, wanting -no, _needing_- to believe that this wasn't simply an illusion. That there really was hope of some sort of happiness in this place...

When he approached the lamp, down the street, another came on. Then another, and another. Teru's stumbling pace quickened to the point where he was running, his arms swinging like a madman's, a look of desperacy melted onto his features.

The lights grew brighter and brighter as he passed them, each making him more and more anxious. Where did they lead? Did they go anywhere? Why now? How?

(Do you really want to know?)

He was brought to an abrupt stop as he rounded the corner.

_(KAMI!)_

In his view stood a church. It wasn't rotting and battered like all the other buildings here. It was the exact opposite. It stood tall and brightly lit, as if it was mocking the rest of the city.

(Mocking _him_.)

He took hold of the handle of one of the large, ornate doors and paused. Would it even open for-

(A murderer?)

-someone like him? He gave a hard yank, closing his eyes to pray for some kind of warmth inside. Some kind of heaven...

_(KAMI!)_

He dropped to his knees inside of the door.

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A/N: Eh.. Thanks to all of those who have read and (hopefully!) will continue reading this fic. =D Sometimes I need a bit of motivation, though, so reviews are a really big help! Thanks!

Also, sorry this is kinda short. The other chapters will be longer, I promise! n___n


	2. The Virgin

**Title: Heaven**

**Anime: Death Note**

**Pairing: Mikami/Misa**

**Rating: MATURE**

**Warning(s): Sacriligious themes, detailed murder, sex... etc.**

_He dropped to his knees inside of the door._

Instead of the light he so desperately wanted to see, Teru was greeted by the same greyed and monochromatic surroundings he'd been subjected to for ages. His hands, gripping tightly at the scratched hardwood floor, began quivering. His face went slack in shock and he doubled over on the ground.

(Why?)

Tears began to burn in his eyes and in moments they were streaming down his face. His clenched fists raised up to pummel back into the wood beneath him.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

The church was nothing but the debris of a once beautiful place; a place that had obviously faced years of abandonment and desertion. Dust, rubbed from the floor, covered the shins of his already ragged suit pants. Once, Mikami Teru had kept them so perfectly pressed and clean that he was sure his clothes made even kings jealous. Now look at him...

Relinquishing all previous dignity he could have retained, he raised his head to the room. It looked like a perfectly normal church- pews sloppily lined each side of the room, leading to an altar, featuring an over-sized statue of the virgin Mary, her hands lifted up in greeting.

Anger began to fill him as he stared at the stone woman gazing down at him. Who was she to be so great? Why was she God's-

(Favorite?)

Rage heating his chest, he stood up, wanting to break, no _destroy_, that serene look on the whore's face. His legs began pushing him forwards. He was running to the front of the church, going forwards to get requital for being forced into this God-forsaken place. For being tricked into thinking he'd finally be forgiven.

"_It's not fair!_"He was screaming now. "This is how you fucking repay me?! _THIS?! _After all I-"

(_KAMI! How could you?!)_

"After all I gave! After how hard I tried! This?! A disgusting _joke_ of a church and a mocking expression on this bitch's face?!!"

Heaving sobs, he collapsed onto the statue, falling into Mary's arms. It was then when he saw her.

There, kneeled at the virgin's feet, was a tiny young woman. She had her hands clapped over her ears, and tears dripped from her face into her lap. Her blonde hair hung in smooth, brushed locks around her face and down her back. He just barely could make out some of her hushed words.

"...God in... forgive ..for I... sinned..."

Praying. _Of course. _A hysterical chuckle threatened to bubble from Teru's chest. Why hadn't he noticed this girl? He hadn't even thought to look for another human. He'd been alone for so long, he'd almost forgotten what human interaction was.

His eyes narrowed dubiously. Was this to mean this girl had been the holder of a notebook...? It seemed almost unfathomable that this whelp of a girl could be a-

(Sinner?)

-!

(Murderer?)

No!

(Follower of _him_?)

Teru hesitantly laid a quivering hand on the girl's head. She immediately jerked up, her large, tearful eyes staring beggingly into his. They were like rubies, scintillating a red, deep as blood. He stumbled backwards slightly, frightened; hers were an explicit reflection of his own.

Suddenly, there was a sharp grasp on his arm. The girl was clinging tightly to him, still looking up at him with those horrific eyes and intense expression.

"Please, tell me... I have to know... _Where are we?!_"

Tears dripped out of the large, frightening eyes and she turned her gaze towards the statue of Mary.

"This isn't heaven... is it?"

"N-no. It's not..."

The woman released her grip on him and shrunk to the floor.

"But, I wanted so desperately to see Raito again..."

"R-Raito... Yagami..."

"My Raito... Raito went to heaven..." Her voice was shaky and childish.

_(How about it, Teru? What do you think of your God?)_

"Ka... _Kamiii!_"

Teru's stomach was emptied onto the floor of the church as he sprinted from the building that had caused him so much grief in the brief time he'd spent inside. Things he'd tried to forget were brought back; things he'd repressed since death. His insides suddenly felt as if they wished to vomit again, and he laid his head between his knees to relieve the oncoming nausea.

The outside air licked at the beads of sweat formed on his neck, cooling him and clearing his throbbing head. Teru had dropped down on the steps leading up to the church, his back turned to the charlatan building.

He coughed, spitting onto the ground. "House of God, my ass..."

On the road below him, the streetlamps still shone, accompanied by the light of the church. Their rays glistened together on the ground, disturbing Teru's usual shadowy companions. Not even the consistency of darkness was there to comfort him now.

With a hard sigh Teru massaged his temples and glared at the sight around him. In his many years of life- and death- he had almost never cursed, but today he'd probably made up for his ages of liguistic virginity tenfold.

_"Goddamnit."_

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A/N: Okie, so there's the next chapter. ^^; I hope it wasn't too... "out-there". Please continue to read and enjoy. =) I'll have chapter three out within the week, if I get a review! (Bribes~)

Arigatou.

3Tay


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